REALITY

Free Time.....Nothing like it, I'm sure EVERY MOM could agree! My Dear husband came home from work ( sick ) I told him I was meeting my girlfriend at the "Roxy" store. He handed me some money and said " buy YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE.." My eyes got big.....he added ( cuz he knows me all too well ) " Don't buy Tiki ONE thing!"

I have such a hard time with that agreement. I agree ( with my fingers crossed behind me ). I'm off to see the wizard....I mean Tami. My dearest friend, who wants to buy Tiki a backpack for her school!! She's sooo loving to my daughter, as though its her OWN. She gets Just as excited as I do everytime Tiki does something funny, new, a milestone. Auntie Tami is THERE!!!

So there I am FREE BIRD...Tami picked a backpack... then she TRIED to buy her a $ 40 Roxy sweatwhirt that was toooo cool. but my rule of thumb is IF I WONT SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY FOR SOMETHING, I SURE DON'T WANT TAMI SPENDING IT!!! At least if I saw how much it was! went to Pier 1 to shop around then Ross only to run straight to the "kids" department. ( hmmm my promise to Alika didn't last long, I hadn't even looked for me yet.)


Got a couple of things for her of course....thought I BETTER come home with SOMETHING!
Tami left, I'm on my OWN....

I find a store that has sooo many things...NEXT THING I KNOW Alika calling me like are you okay??!! I look in my hand, I have at least 20 hangers. I said " I will BE HERE ALL NIGHT!" He laughed.... I never shop for myself, now I'm like the junkie who has been sober for years and got a "taste" of it again.. I cant stop myself!!!

THEN " IT" COMES.....the store MIRROR....eeewwwww.....what tha??
I felt so hip and on it....until I realized I LOST IT!!!! Everything I tried on was suddenly not my size anymore....every blemish, bump, dimple...WAS HORRIFYING!!!!

My bubble just burst. NOW I KNOW why I don't shop for myself....I'd actually have to come out of BODY DENIAL.
All I could think to myself is WHY would they make the lighting, mirrors as such to MAGNIFY everything that wanted me to put all the clothes away and use that money towards a GYM!!
Out of all those clothes I unhapply came home with 4 shirts and a badley bruised ego.. I try on the first shirt to model for my husband, and Tiki ( who sooo missed me ) said " Mommy, you look BEAUTIFUL!!!" I cried..gave her a big, big hug, and asked Alika " Do we still have Ice Cream?"

Today , I know the ice cream HAS to stop...or errr slow down anyway.